hey guys.

i've moved. Again!!!

from tumblr to wordpress. hopefully i'll stay put there, don't want to get too nomadic =)

you can now find me here.

feel free to drop by and say hi!

i want change.

and therefore i'm moving.

this blog is generating too much traffic from the HKU/NUS MBBS interview post and I need more privacy XD

therefore i'm moving to a tumblr site.

The Happiness Project. (or so it will be named for the time being.) 

you cant really post comments unless you have an account in tumblr but I guess that doesnt really matter =)

It's sad to say goodbye but a drastic change needs drastic measures... see you at the other end of the rainbow!

We laughed, we cried, and then we grew up.

Despite the countless obstacles, our college gang finally met up, though the only-half-of-the-group-showed-up gathering only lasted barely 4 hours.

We went back to our old college and saw Mr Lau (maths), Mr Nava (physics AS sem 2), Mr Yeoh (physics A2) and we wanted to listen to Mr Lau's lecture but us barging into the class was simply too obvious although I didn't mind doing it cause we already have a bad reputation in college

We ate at Inti Cafeteria. The nasi lemak was still RM 1 and spicy. We met a fake Lihyi who had almost the same haircut, same bell-sleeved shirt who brought her own lunch. We spotted some familiar faces; the lab assistant, our bio teacher's archenemy, and some lookalikes from our old days in college.

For a moment I felt alive again.

Where I lived in a world with my own rules. Where people's opinions about what I did, what I wore, what I said didn't matter anymore because I had a group of friends who accepted my loudness and lack of subtlety.

But living abroad (in fact leaving college) has given me enough lessons that the world can be evil, it can be pretentious, it can be selfish. In fact it's brimming with so much lies it's so hard to spot sheer honesty.

But I strongly believe that no matter how badly the world treats me, I will not turn into one of those backstabbing, hatred filled, self centred people, even if it hurts me.

I will keep on fighting, keep on falling, and keep on getting up.

Because I know that when I can take it no more, I'll have my true friends to hang on to.

Thank you for everything =)

i need a break.

when will I start living for myself?

new year, new start.

Happy CNY everyone!

crap i'll be spending only one week in malaysia, and the sad truth is i'll probably spend most of the time working on my caduceus (ed board) article or study the pile of lecture notes i brought back OR research on what possible SSMs I can do.

The SEATRU (turtle conservation project) was already fully booked when i tried to sign up today at midnight! (which was supposedly when the registration opened!! wthhhh) check out the website here:

http://seatru.wordpress.com/activities/volunteer-program/

I don't care. I will apply again next year. >.<

but anyway I have to think of something else to do for SSM then? anyone have any 2-4 weeks volunteering ideas around Malaysia or overseas?

Oh ya I just submitted my application for AIDS Awareness Raising Project 2011 in Henan. http://seatru.wordpress.com/activities/volunteer-program/

BUT i very well might not get it as I barely have any volunteering experience but oh well we'll see =)

exhausted! gonna sleep now and embrace the most comfy bed in the world <3

stuck...

between

what i want and making people happy

blending in and having more time for myself

moving on and turning back

personal goals and to strive for a higher purpose

basically means

i'm stuck between

studying and not studying. the essence of a medical student's life.

thankfully i will be heading back msia soon! to be reminded of how it feels like to live a life outside hall, med campus and getting my head buried in food instead of Gray's or Robbins all the time >.<

missing you

came across this image SH edited and slipped into my pen drive before she returned it to me right before I left to HK.

I never knew how much I actually enjoyed my college days until the time I went back msia during winter break. During those 2 weeks, I would laugh till I cried, shout till my voice turned hoarse and I wasn't being afraid of saying/doing the wrong thing. I could be myself and not worry about the implications it would bring because people around me were so REAL.

And though nothing can ever be the same, I'm glad to have this 1 and a half years worth of sweet memories.

I LOVE YOU NG SUAT HOON <3 and mama kk ly bs wy cc thboy hl!!!

disintegrating

now i've come to realise the challenges of studying med.

it's the fact that you can never EVER study enough. After some gruelling lessons on physiology of the lung that require SO much digestion, I'm having the most mentally taxing PBL sessions twice a week where my PBL groupmates look to Level one or two evidence to complete their learning objectives. And that makes me the google and wikipedia-er wayyy more inferior. And I just spent 4 hours looking through medical journals to complete my learning objectives which were just epidemiology and risk factors for asthma. WTH???!!!!

i definitely need to redefine "diligence" and "efficiency" in my dictionary.

me me me me me me me me me

sometimes i just wished that i could pluck a hair out of my head, blow it and it'll turn into 100 more tzehui's.

cause I'm just SO bad at multitasking.

perfectly lonely

This epitomises how I feel right now, and the good news is I'm totally alright with it =)

wake me up when winter ends

although the average temp of HK during winter is around 10 degrees, it is already killing me.

I think i'm stuck with the choice of getting a heater or hibernating throughout Respiratory Block (we're doing resp and cardiovascular block this sem)

I think i'm getting a heater.

Grateful

Kite flying.

Not really sure why but I wanted to fly a kite for a really, really long time now. Probably to enjoy the wind in my face, the exhilaration of running against wind direction and the sense of completion.

Thanks guys, for putting a full stop and marking the end of something that was never even meant to start. Finally, I feel complete again =)

It'll be one month before I see Malaysia again. Thank God that's pretty soon =)

staring at square things

Movies!

1. Tangled/Rapunzel
Watched it this afternoon with Suefay (whom I meet around once a year as our breaks coincide though we study at opposite sides of the hemisphere); the usual feel good disney production that was fun to watch! With hilarious comic reliefs too =)


2. The Social Network
Streamed this online and it's pretty interesting as it gives a true account of the founding of facebook (which is as essential for a human being who needs a social life) and it was pretty ironic cause my facebook site was on the other tab while I was watching the movie which indicates its importance in my life XD

3. Tron: The Legacy
Watched this with SH and CC and THboy simply cause we couldn't find other shows to watch and some of them watched Narnia already. The female actor's pretty cool but can't remember much from the movie; seems to be catered to the younger male audience though.

TV series!

Currently hooked on Fringe Season 1... The mystery just deepens with every episode and it's killling meeeee

Books!
finished reading Waiter Rant. Check out my post here.

But honestly still not enough time for friends and family and myself. Argghh I wished winter breaks were longer. I need TIME to chill before I face the world again. >.<

Happy Birthday...

to Jesus!

who came 2010 years ago to let us come to know Him and to forgive our sins and to teach us how to live a fulfilling and purpose driven life =)

This day is not just about x'mas lights, trees or even presents.

It's a day where we rejoice, and be thankful. and to have hope in His second coming.


We are the Reason (他为了我们)

 

Enjoy and Merry X'mas!!! <3

Winter.

So glad to have gotten out of HK just when the temperature dropped drastically; 2 days before I came back Malaysia, the temperature plunged from a comfortable 20 degrees to 8 degrees and I didn't have any down feather jacket and when I wore a pretty thin trench coat to go out, the hall receptionist asked, "哇你着甘少出街？" (you're just going to wear this jacket in this sort of weather?) so yeah, after that I changed into 2 layers of thin jackets because I didn't have one that was thick enough >.< another excuse to go shopping, right? XDD

And I will need to get a heater once I get back HK early next year. And also a thicker blanket because at the moment I'm stealing my roommate's as she went back early to Korea; lest I would wake up in the middle of the night shivering and listening to the wind howling outside the halls.

But mana tahu as I came back Msia to seek refuge from HK's winter, it has been raining for like 3 consecutive days, and it's the kind of rain that my mom calls "longevity rain" 长命雨 cause it rains at a constant pace for the whole day; not those short-lived downpours or the occassional drizzle. But still. A sign that we are slightly orientated on the upper hemisphere and therefore somewhat involved in this change in season =)

My plans for this 2 week long winter break:
Eat!!! (cut off ones means those that I've already eaten)
Nasi lemak, Chee Cheong Fun, roti canai, prawn mee, asam laksa, indian rojak, fruit rojak, popiah, bak kut teh, bee hun kueh, wan tan mee, curry mee, chicken rice, duck noodles, pig trotter, karipap, apam balik...

Study! 
yes, my classmates' kiasu-ness is getting to me. T.T but anyway I brought Robbin's Basis of Pathology back to study, and patho is my fav subject; I would NEVER read pharmacology or biochemistry at my own will. Ever.

Meet up with friends
But so far only met CC when she came to my house; SH and THboy still at their archi trip in Penang & Ipoh and I'm in desperate need of a social life T__T hopefully the college gang gathering will work out.. eventually...

Shopping!
with the excuse that stuff in Malaysia is cheaper than in HK! But my dad's gonna kill me soon, or worse still, freeze my bank account...

Karaoke
can NEVER get enough of it xDDD

Movies
the best deal for a movie in HK costs around RM 24; in Malaysia it's only 1/3 the price! WTH

Spend X'mas with family and church members 
=)

and so far, I've only done a little of the shopping and the study. and the eating.

And now, back to studying! =) and waiting for SH and THboy to come back from their trip T_T

peace.

am now defragmenting my emotional system at home.

will tell you when i'm done =)

done!

=)

shopping tomorrow!!! kekekekeke

waiting.

for exams to be over!

formative (not counted marks. at all) exam will be on 13th and 14th (next mon and tues) and then I'll be flying back Malaysia on Thurs.. yipeee!!!

But we had around 2 weeks plus worth of study break and yeah, it was long and excruciating. Names of arteries, nerves, veins, parasites, bacteria, fungi, virus, drugs flew out of my limbic system (controls memory) as fast as it flew in. And there's friggin community med!!! T__T

but then X'mas holidays are something really, really worth looking forward to. it's been soooo long since I've had a piece of roti canai in my mouth and I miss my college friends so so much. and besides, I think after exams, on 15th and 16th, Charlene and I might be going macao/shenzhen/shopping around hk!! FUN ^^

okay back to biochem.

double T_T

wrapping up 2010

it's nearing december and I see christmas themes everywhere! which reminds me of home cause at least I get to celebrate X'mas back in Malaysia~~ and I just want to sum up how this year has been for me...

in the beginning of the year, I still couldn't let go the fact that all my college friends were going separate ways with everyone doing different courses etc.

At that moment in time, I was also frustrated as to what & where was I going to study. Flew to both HK and Singapore to attend medicine admission interviews, and honestly I was terribly lost at that time, and church friends and God really helped alot =)

From Jan-July, I worked in a nearby kindergarten as a helper, and developed a newfound interest and perspective in kids. Though it was my 2nd time working part time, I think it did help me mature as I took on a more "maternal" role in taking care of younger people instead of just being taken care of by my family.

Finally got letter of admission into HKU med and that made me really happy and my dad really sad cause he preferred if I went Spore. But then NUS offered me my 2nd choice, bioengineering. Anyway after weighing the odds, I finally decided to come HK.

Throughout Aug, I was busy packing, saying goodbyes, spending more time with my family, eating more Msian food, going through a period of emo-ness but thankfully saved by the presence of Suat Hoon and Teck Hong, and basically not thinking too much about HK.

and then HK was... hmm. Hard to explain. Our Malaysian seniors and freshmen were pretty much awesome and fun to hang out with, and the locals are pretty nice but need getting used to. In many different ways. The culture is different as well; eg hall culture, campaign, how you dress up etc.

and here I want to say how grateful I am to have Charlene. She's the only other Malaysia Medic year 1 friend + we stay in the same hall, so we basically go through the exact same thing in terms of culture shock, missing family and friends etc. and she was such a great friend once I got to know her really well... Thanks so much Charlene, I seriously could not survive HK without you T.T

and now am having study break till 12th Dec. Formative exam on 13th and 14th Dec and will be back Malaysia on the 17th (might go tour around HK and/or Macao on 16th and 17th with Charlene!!! weee~~~)

so pretty much anticipating meeting friends back in Malaysia and also for friggin exams to be over pronto! studying in my room is SO, SO boring, like A levels' one month study break once again >.<

having Hall Annual High Table Dinner tomorrow night! off to study now ~

always little

Stumbled upon this James Morisson track:

Lyrics:

I was the one, 
Who would always
Jump in first
Didn't think twice
To look behind
Got such a good feeling, 
Just from playing
In the dirt
Once, 
When I was little

We could build a rocket, 
Fly to the moon
Leave Tuesday morning, 
And be back for noon
There wasn't nothing, 
Nothing that we couldn't do
Once, when I was little umm
Once, when I was little

Yeah I could dream more then
Yeah I believed more then
That the world
Could only get better
Yeah I was free more then
I could pretend more then
That this life could
Only show me good times
Once, when I was little
Umm ohh lalala

There was a time
When I trusted everyone
Yes I did
There was no place
That I would not go oh no
Spend a day on the hillside
Next to the holly mo
Oh once, when I was little
Yea once, when I, I was little

Yeah I could dream more then
Yeah I believe more then
That this world
Could only get better
Yeah I was free more then
I could pretend more then
That this life could
Only show me good times
Once, when I was little

Used to feel so strong
Even when they tell me, 
Tell me I was wrong
That I can't live
In a magic world
Cause it's time
For me to grow up
That I got to be
Like the rest of them
When I know
There acting up ohh

I could believe more
Then yes I could
I could pretend more then
That this life could
Only get better
I could believe more
Then yes I could
I could pretend more then

That this world could
Only show me good times
Once, when I was little
When I was little

So here comes the next one, 
The next in line
Stay as young you can, 
For the longest time
Cause those days flew by
Like a breeze
Just passing through
Once, when I was little

I don't believe that the more one sees of the world, the harder one's heart becomes. I think it's always a matter of choice. We can choose to go with the flow and do whatever the world does, and grow up. Or we can be different, and stay young with a childlike fascination and think the best of people. There was a quote somewhere that said we have to be different, to make a difference in others.

I don't want to harden my heart. I still want to laugh at lame jokes, squeal at cute dogs, cry in soppy cheesy romance movies, sing on my way back to hall when I think no one's watching. I want to be a real, breathing human. Not molded by people around me, or by the pressures of studying medicine.

Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and he shall strengthen
    thine heart.  Wait, I say on the Lord.                                                                             - Psalms 27:14
We have a choice. I choose to be different. Just wait and see, things will change when you make the first step =)