Devilish Saints (a.k.a Naughty Children)

This may sound paradoxical, but it's entirely true! Children (esp. your nieces and nephews) always look oh-so-saintly, cute and naive all at the same time, but beware... because there's a dark side in every one of them... *Darth Vader breathing sound effect* I myself had a few personal experiences with their (extremely!!) manipulative character.


I have always found it hard to get along with children, esp. those around 5-7 years old, mainly because :
(a) i wear braces, which really freaks them out when i flash my oh-too-wiry smile at them and
(b) i just don't look like Santa Claus, e.g. someone with lots of sweets and presents... So, no point sticking around, right?

But once they've figured out that my braces are not WMD (weapons of mass destruction) and I'm a kind and good person (finally! they know the truth.), they'll stick close to me in a leech-like manner or drag me around the room or grab my hand and use it to touch their parents butts (obviously i didn't fall for that! come ON, i'm not THAT weak) or climb all over the place, waiting for me to catch them and imagine my fear if they end up in the hospital with a cement cast over their legs and half my body into my own coffin when I receive scolding from their parents!

*panting*

*and panting*

*and panting again*

Phew! The last sentence was too long i didn't catch enough breath! (okay.. i know it's lame..)

Stuff about children to watch out for:
a) Children come to you for a reason. They want to USE you.
b) If you touch something precious that's theirs,(esp. christmas presents!) they'll go "It's MINE!!! All MINE!!!" (Sounds familiar? Remember "my precioussss..."?)
c) Don't try to outsmart them. When they start crying, your doom will come. Really!


It's a tough, tough world out there. Friend, wish you good luck and may you be safe from the evils of the little people... Well, at least you're taller than them! (although not as evil)